Being Snowflakes

How do I be different? Hmm.


Isn’t that the ultimate problem that people aged between 5 to 95 struggle with today? And why is it that we face such a distressing shortage of originality?


Why, it is only because of, wait for it, other people.


Yes, this bright green planet of ours and all the seven billion souls rushing about on it are so unbelievably desperate to prove their unique snowflake-ness, that short of parading around with a sign saying HEY LOOK AT ME I’M DIFFERENT painted on their foreheads; expressing themselves in their own, dare I say it, ‘unique’ way, is the only possible remedy they have.


And how does one go about expressing themselves? For me, it’s words. Like that beautiful song says: It’s only words, and words are all I have; to take your heart away.


In this case, it’s not just one heart but almost seven billion hearts, of course. No pressure.


Oh, but it’s not that difficult, after all. Have you heard of this new thing called the Internet? Yes? No? Don’t care? Whatever your answer is, the incredibly all-encompassing power of the Internet is right by your side (or your fingertips) as you kickstart Mission Seven Billion. How, you ask. Here’s how:


1) Written something potentially life-changing? Yay, make a blog.

2) Drawn something so beautiful you wanna cry? Yay, post it on Deviantart or Tumblr.

3) Thought up something profound enough to stir Aristotle in his grave? Yay, post it on Facebook.

4) Captured photos more life-like than your maths teacher’s face on a Monday? Yay, post ‘em on Flickr.

5) Got a hilarious punny one-liner that MUST be shared for the good of mankind? Tumblr again!

6) Designed something which simply oozes your glorious skills? Yay, Facebook can’t wait!

7) Sung a song? Danced a dance? Sneezed? Yay, upload it to Youtube!


Any other talent you possess? Anything at all! Be it tying your shoelaces in 2 seconds flat, or painting with nothing but a dry brush and cup of water- The Internet loves you! And you better love it back. Or it will destroy you. Bit by bit. Painfully.


However, the Internet is not all laughs and burps and cute kitty yawns. Once you get over the Heyyy I got 156 whopping likes on my photo of the moon! Or, OMG my video of me performing Gangnam Style got 394 views!


You’ll realize that your friend’s video of him tapdancing on Rap God got 478 views. And your sister’s pouty duckface got an insane 542 likes, and 233 comments. (she’s not even pretty, goddamnit.)


Because someone is always going to be better than you, smarter than you, more popular than you, prettier than you, or even more talented at tying their shoelaces than you. Face it. If you don’t realize that heartbreaking truth, well, have a fantastic life in your delusional little world! I hope your next tweet crosses seven hundred retweets!


Which brings us to the topic in hand- Originality. If there are approximately six billion nine hundred ninety-nine million nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-nine other minds on the Earth at the present moment, and an estimated hundred and eight billion people who have ever been born (2011 survey) ever since the beginning of humanity about 200,000 years ago, then pray tell me this:


How the bloody hell does one begin to even think of being unique?


Whoa, that was a rather depressing picture I just painted. Sorry not sorry.


It’s the truth!


Okay, I’m done now.




So is the word ‘unique’ a farce? A delusional, made-up idea to keep people believing they’re different? That they’re not just an echo, or a well-made replica of someone who’s lived and breathed, say, three hundred and two years ago? That the brilliant new idea they’ve just had has not been already thought of and discarded by another bright individual living on the other side of the globe?

You’re a unique little snowflake, darling. Nobody in this whole, wide world is exactly the same as you. You’re beautiful. You’re different.




Like I’ve said, whatever you do, somebody has done it better, is doing it better or will do it better someday. Tough luck, ‘snowflake’.


Tata, bye-bye.


Sheesh, when will this girl stop whining and moaning like Scrooge frigging McDuck? Yes, I know, I’ve been yammering along most morbidly for a while now. So yay, now for the superhappy supershiny segment of my pointlessly discouraging rant.


Kidding. I don’t do superhappy supershiny.


But I’ll try.


Okay, so you’re not a 100% uniquely unique snowflake. (I’m beginning to hate snowflakes.)


But you can maybe, just maybe, be an extraordinary 99.99%?


At least try to.



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