Shattered Realization

I follow the bright light, that had been enticing me.

I see the white room, glistening it is;

In a corner, there’s a boy:

the kind that reminds me of the agitated ocean during the storms

Or the color of the autumn leaves.

I think I know him.


“I’m glad I found you out here.” he manages to say.

I descry the pain behind his smile,

And the menace, sadness but depth in his voice.

He sits in the cozy chair, and motions me to give my feet a rest.


After a moment of resting his face in his palms,

that has appeared like centuries stopping by,

he looks up at me.


His eyes trace my features.

Maybe, I know why.

Perhaps he wants to gather all his might

just to say, “Gosh. You are beautiful”.


I can see him failing in this.


The hushed gaze stains the fabric of my soul

by the tiniest of memories,

as I see the croaking of his voice while he clenches his fist.


“We were soul mates. This isn’t fair.”


His eyes were never as piercing as they bob up now.

They fill up with tears. I wish to gather his torn pieces,

and give them back to him.

But he has been resilient.


And now, he’s playing strong.


“I didn’t know what I’m supposed to do without you.”

He again speaks.


The hysteria of his state is ripping me apart.

God. It hurts.

I contemplate what all I have done.


The storms and trials had left me breathless on the ground.

I was shaken from the panic

that coursed through my blood.


I felt ostracized.

Beaten. Battered.

And so I walked away alone.

I killed myself.


Without remembering my father,

who would have done anything for me.

Or my mother, who was fighting

to stay by my side.


Without thinking of my brother,

who loved me, even though he never showed.

Or even my Love, who would have kept me happy,

in all the seasons.


Oh wait! But what is he doing here?

With me?

Have I not died?

I’m sure I’m dead.


Does this mean, he too is…?


“We were soul mates.”


My mind is about to detonate.

My body spins. My head hurts.

If only I wouldn’t have ended my life.

I stand still.


“You shouldn’t have done it.

If only you could realize that,

Beauty was everywhere.

You would just have to wait

till it fully blossomed.

Life wouldn’t have been so bleak

the next morning, love.”


His words are choking my heart.

I try to move a step closer.

Damn! I can’t.

Why my feet are cold and callous?

Giving up, I let him speak.


But No, his presence is wearing thin.

He chose to die, to be with me

Then why is he departing?

Perhaps, the Earth held different commandments.


“You shouldn’t have done it.”

I can hear the sobs abandoning.

All at once, he disappears.

I’m left with the deserted chair

in the scintillating room.


I could have saved two lives,

If only I wouldn’t have done it.

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