Memory Research on Love

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Anderson in his 1994 research said that retrieval induces forgetting.
That is, if I were to remember something in abundance, I’ll end up forgetting it.

I am taking it to heart.

You see if I take your names along with countless others,
all of them will start competing for my attention
And in that, I will forget you.

So I here I go.
Arya. Anjul. Catherine. Harry. Sanober. Sylvia. Blake. Jack. Sonali. Anne. Ari. Mugdha. Dash. Oscar. Emma.

The research also said
people remembered things better
because of their association to it.
So I am hiding you
in between these names.
They’ll tell me stories,
make me forget you.

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They said forgetting is not permanent
rather, it’s a temporary decay of information.
It IS a decay.
This love is rotten inside me.
Or how else can you explain the pain?
My heart has become a cavity that no dentist would want to drill into
They’ll say, remove it instead.

But there still lays that space,
that emptiness where you used to be.
What do I do with that then?

People make false memories,
have misinformation given to them
that are as vivid as real event.
Maybe I can have that presented to me.
But darling rather then forgetting you,
I want it to be of you,
telling me that you’re still here.
Because that is all the hope I want.

Bones. Arya. Anjul. Dany. Catherine. Harry. Sylvia. Blake. Nine. Andrea. Jack. Sonali. Anne. Ari. Sanober. Hermoinee. David. Adrian. Mugdha. Becky. Jeaniene. Dash. Grey. Heema. Oscar. Emma. Jaime.

I’m adding the names.

But you’re still here.


I think about you
at the back of my mind
where the researchers never look in.

You are there.

Alive and as real as my thoughts
saying under your breath
Anderson didn’t know shit.



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