As you lie down
Over the smooth green grass
That lightly tickles your waist,
Counting stars
And brooding over the largely dissatisfying day;
And the goals unachieved.
About the meeting that failed because you ended up messing your schedule.
Of your mother’s birthday that you forgot because you were too stressed last night.
Of the fly that landed in your soup making you feel queasy, because of which you didn’t have lunch, putting yourself in a foul mood for the rest of the day.
Of the man you almost hit while driving because you were lost in your thoughts of how far you can go till you break down completely, with not a piece of you intact.
All the bits and pieces of your once lively body scattered around, pale and lifeless.
The blood through your arteries turning blue, like that in the veins, poisoned.
Your once vivacious spirit, now languishing.
Looking back, you feel your life has been a complete failure in all aspects.
That you are a failure.
On a night like that, think of me.
Think of the times when you and I lay on the grass on the cloudless nights, together, talking about everything and nothing.

The times when I struggled hard not to laugh when you tried mimicking my favourite cartoon, and failed miserably.
Of the times when you unknowingly made me smile.
The way you comb your hair, messing them up, in the most sorted out fashion.
Your habit of singing whenever you were tensed, making me question your fantastic display of emotions.
The way you tickled my sides till I was gasping for breaths, in the middle of laughing. And then my falling off the bed whilst pulling you down as well!
Of the way you groaned every time I pulled out a spooky thriller for our Saturday movie nights, for by the time the movie ended, I’d be dead frightened to even get off the couch. And then you’d have to carry me upstairs and that is what I loved the most, falling asleep in your arms, listening your heart beat, in the safest haven.
Of the mutual hatred we shared for strawberry ice creams.
Your smile when you were genuinely happy, that covered up half of your face, it just made my day.
Little things, they meant too much!
You made me fall in love with life when I was about to end it.
Remember the promise we made on the night of that horrendous power cut, six years back when I was scared of the dark (you laughed all the while I cried)? The promise that even in the darkest of nights, we’ll hold each other, and that however harsh the adversity gets, we shall persist together.
You’ve kept the promise, bhaiya, and you have been the best brother I could’ve ever ask for.
You haven’t failed, not ever, you’ve never failed me.
And I’ll remember that promise forever.
On the nights when the stars are twinkling, I’ll be the brightest one in the sky, smiling down at you and waiting for you to smile back. And make the heavens beautiful.
And the nights when the black clouds darken your path, when your vision is hazed,
I’ll be your flashlight.

~ Tanushree Tripathi | Edited by Anwesha Tripathy


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