He wants to create windows in the walls of my heart,
and I tell him that my heart isn’t his home anymore
He pleads, again.
I tell him that it took my blood years
to wash his footsteps from the floor of my heart.
He keeps the roses beside my bed.
I tell him that I don’t know how to breathe the fragrance of the roses anymore.
He says he will teach me
He says he will teach me, again.
I tell him that it took my cells years
to forget the lessons they had grown with.
He wants to lay the bricks,
and I tell him that I can’t pay the rent of the space,
where he wants to build our castle.
I paint his face with goodbye colours,
and walk till I can’t see the end.
End comes after a few steps, and I walk back to his room,
I look at him.
I look at him, again.
He stinks of loneliness, sings an apology,
I fill his ears with goodbye songs
and walk till my fear chokes to death.
I walk, I run.
I ride bicycles and fly aeroplanes.
But my fear hasn’t seen the graveyard,
I tell my heart there’s no road that can lead me
back to the place where my love is dying.
Fear sings lullabies, shows the memories
Tells me how the demons of my past can come back to life
If I give him another chance.
Fear cries in my ears, convinces me all these years,
And tells me how his mistakes can become his habit again
If I fall prey to his tears.
Fear wears the cloak of a friend, writes words to meet his end,
Tells me that my heart can be broken again
If I try to love him one more time.
He thinks fear lives in me,
And I tell him that I live inside fear,
The reason why can’t I fall in love again
is because I have a hammer and pieces of wood,
But I don’t know how to create a window,
in the walls of fear.