An open letter to my four-year-old kid
I have never been good with words but you have forced me to write this. I am in a park, watching you play with a football, all by yourself. And let me tell you something, “You are not very good at it.”
But then again, you are just a four-year-old kid. You are not supposed to be good. You are supposed to be happy, and that, you are.
I envy you when I see you chase that ball. I can see the happiness in your eyes. I have felt that way only once in my life, the day you were born. You have already achieved all the happiness I have ever had in my life.
I don’t want to rob you of that. I don’t want to impose my choices on you.
I don’t want you to take up science and get into an IIT just because I failed my dream of doing so.
If you want to play Tennis or Volleyball, I won’t force you to play cricket just because I couldn’t become the next Tendulkar, even after I wasted many sleepless nights on it.
I know that I have been carrying this lame hairstyle since the day I used a comb, but it does not mean that I would discourage you from keeping a ponytail or shaving your head.
You want to get a tattoo, go get it. I would never complain.
Have you hit your puberty yet? Have you got any questions about your body? Ask me. I will always be there for you. No matter how weird the question, I promise that I will never tell you that your insecurities are wrong.
Do you like a girl? Go ahead, ask her out. Wait, do you like a guy? Go ahead, ask him out.
Do not stop yourself from your instincts. Stop thinking about me, your mom, or the society. We don’t really matter. It’s you who does, foremost. This is your life, first. Live it for yourself first and then for your mother and I. And if after that, you have any life left, think about what the society would say and ignore them.
As for me, it is your smile which matters the most. I hope you never lose this happiness you have found, because I am still struggling, still trying to sort everything out, and even after thirty-two years of my existence, I have still not found the sheer happiness, the pure bliss that I see on your face right now. And I am grateful for it.