My Heart Is A Mirror
I am clinging between the memories and ongoing processes of my life nowadays. Memories of her, and the state of feeling alone in the company of people. I am surprised why I am the way I am. And I fail to understand. I fail to understand every now and then what wrong did I do to her that she can’t come and ask me again, ‘Take out your earphones, I need to talk you.’
She comes around like thin air, and she does not take a second to even glance at me. The other day I realized that she was finding it difficult to pass through the lane because the place was already overcrowded and as I moved away, she squeezed through the crowd but it felt like she was passing through my heart. Had she asked for a little space, I would have offered my heart to pass by.
But, no, I can only imagine her asking me a single word again.
A small silly fight would end up like this? No.
I cannot let myself burn in an intense longing for her because of the prejudices other people have about us. I do not want to wait forever for her because she’d experienced that she is not perfect for me. Tell me, who is perfect for whom?
Love is not a designed thing for people. It’s people who build love for the sake of burning and burying hate. Meanwhile, I have wanted to give her a home of love in my mirror, in my heart. And it’s not those people who would mean a thing to me. It’s her. Only her. And then, when I look at her in a crowd, it’s only her, who stands out like the moon in the sky during the day. This is the madness of love and I love to feel it.
I wish she would break the ice and tell me what causes this silence. What it takes to come and ask, ‘Take out your earphones, I need to talk you.’
Should I walk around all day with earphones, no. I don’t want to be deaf before she can come and ask me again the words that rhymed as if it is love.
I am ending with this note, perhaps she might read:
My heart is a mirror, it keeps reflecting you
You are all that this mad heart keeps, you are all that it names.
~ Haziq Qayoom Lone | Edited by Afreen Zeb