It’s February Again
While walking back home from work, I saw a teenager walking with his mom, his arm around her shoulder. That one image brought back a surge of memories.
Mom and I used to go to our local market and she would bargain with the sellers and I would just stare aimlessly at the crowd. We didn’t have smartphones or even cell phones then, so a teenager such as me had few options to keep herself entertained. As I recalled it, I used to walk with my arm around her as well.
I was dressed in shorts and a t-shirt and was moving around with her as she shopped. She was reluctant to give me more bags to hold as we continued to buy groceries, primarily because I was a clumsy oaf and secondly she thought it would be too much of weight for me to carry. But as we walked through the market, I was at peace and she talked a little about the extended family’s gossip or just simply a lecture on what to do in life.
The honk of a bus brought me back to the present. And the knot in my chest got tighter. As I struggled to control my emotions on a crowded road, I cursed time. I cursed life, which I thought was unfair. I rued how some people got to live forever and some didn’t even get to enjoy the wonder years.
By the time I had reached home, I cursed February because that is the time when I have to re-live the worst days of her life. Along with me, I think of my father and sibling who silently but surely miss her presence in our lives. Soon the day will dawn upon us where we had to let her go, three years back.
They say memories fade with time and they get distorted with the present. But it just takes a smell of a particular food or a scent of a soap to transport you to the past. Where life was much simpler and we didn’t need Facebook memories to remind us of what we felt a couple of years ago.