For A Change
You are not the person you see when you look into the mirror. You’re not that perfectly made up face with lustrous hair reaching your shoulder in soft curls. You’re not the face sporting that perfect beard after No-Shave November. You are not defined by how many people have fallen in love with you. What defines you is how many times you have loved, and how deeply. You are defined by how many times you have held open a raw wound for everyone to examine your bleeding insides. What matters is how fast you blink to hold back the tears when you are a shivering mess in your room, and not how wide you smile when you meet someone you don’t even like, or can’t even remember the name of. You are defined by how easily you let go, and sometimes, by how tight you hold on to something. You are not the perfectly happy person you seem to be in the morning. You are the person with tears streaming down the face late at night when your demons gnaw at your skin from the inside, threatening to break free.
I know you’re scared that no one will ever fall in love with you if they see you for what you are. You are scared that the people who are so awestruck by the sparkle in your eyes might never as much as look at you if they find out that it’s tears of sadness that cause your eyes to shine. You are scared that your best friend will block you on all social media if they find out that your favourite hobby is making lists of people who will cry when you die, and you never manage of think of more than seven names. But I want you to ask yourself a question— are you really happy this way?
If the answer is no, the next time you stand in front of the mirror and see someone you don’t want to be, don’t hesitate to wash off the make-up or shave that beard off. Don’t bother to put on a smile in the morning if you don’t feel like. Fall in love, break some hearts, and get your own heart broken. Put your brokenness on a display for everyone to see if that is what you feel like. If you’re tired of being a calm lake, be a hurricane. Be yourself, for a change. Be the self that you have always been so scared to show, the self that is all messed up, and breathtakingly beautiful.