Things to Be Done Today

Staple together the pile of course books in your room so that the chapters won’t come spilling out and create a mess in your head. Else you will have to eat them up individually back to back.
Chemistry tastes like rotten eggs.


Shower away the smell of horror movies which may still be enveloping you. Leave your socks unwashed. Sniff them when your life feels too calm. Oh! You do not need to be a psychopath at all, because there’s always someone like that in the community.


One hundred push ups; four hundred squats; two hundred jumping jacks; five hundred sit ups; fifty skipping. The mass destruction is at its peak. Only the fittest will survive.


Thank yourself later.


Make sure she still doesn’t mind the way you look at her from the corner of your eyes like you are just back from the appointment of the ophthalmologist and the drops he’d put in are making it difficult for you to see even in sunlight.


Call her. She may not be present to answer. Get the voice mail. Oh wait. The messages are always better. Type that you love her. Madly. Delete the message.


Thank yourself now.


Eat less. Eat more. Eat vegetables.
Eat healthy. Eat vegetarians. Eat terribly. Eat me. Eat yourself. Swallow. Then make your lunch. It should feel good.


Read the novel lying nearby you. Hate the main character. Hate the writing. Hate the sexism. Carry on the reading. Because it’s better than hating yourself.


Count the seconds until the end of the day. OneTwoThreeFour..
Tell yourself you’re almost there.
Convert seconds into minutes. And minutes into hours.
Yes, almost there.
Don’t let the time band squeeze tighter around your neck.
You can always have ThreeSixZeroZero seconds in something as short as one hour.
You should be glad.


Go to bed smiling. You shouldn’t die from your demons. The demons should die from your wonderful day. Give yourself a flying kiss and make a mental note that you have no right not to love yourself. Smile again and sleep.


But before anything else, make a new list for another day that should be half as terrible as this. Oh wait, the numbers are always relative. Carry on with what you like because this was just what I like.


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