This is all starting to really bother me now. Do you even hear yourself? You are obsessed with this visualization thing of yours. You need to stop Jiya!”
“Look Jill, you are my best friend and I need you to understand. I know this is really weird but it’s a part of my reality now. You know I’ve had great imagination ever since I was a kid. All those poetry, paintings, stories, you’ve seen them all haven’t you? I’ve always been like this. This, is what makes me different!”
“You know that I will always be there for you Jiya. I love you for being you, for being different, but this is going too far. When you first told me that you started this visualization meditation just to get better sleep, I was more than just okay with it. It all started as a way to bring you better sleep. Your self-hypnosis techniques of closing your eyes and visualizing yourself in a calm, quite place and ultimately falling asleep sounded perfectly normal. What is happening now though, is something you can’t ignore.”
“I have done this self-hypnosis for over an year now Jill; every single night for an entire year! Nothing went wrong. In fact, I am so used to it now that my vision continues in my dreams and it’s like a place that I visit every night. I can control what I am doing in my dream and it’s amazing.”
“Well it did sound amazing to me too but I didn’t know you have an imaginary friend you talk to and obsess about”.
“Yes! I talk to one person in my dream every night. How is that bad again? It’s like writing in a diary. Instead of putting things into words, I imagine a conversation with this guy in my head. It’s my subconscious that hears my thoughts and my subconscious that talks to me, in form of that guy. I know he is not real but he is perfect! We talk about passion. We talk about how every person, every conversation, everything around us is losing depth and passion. We sit at the empty beach, watch the sea rise and crash again and can’t help thinking that, that is passion! Rising as high as you can and falling as hard as you can. Letting things make you and break you and still be full of life, roaring, screaming, every time we crash, like its all an adventure.”
“Do you see what you are doing there Jiya? You are being obsessed again. You haven’t met a real guy in ages. Which guy will ever have that conversation? You are only raising your expectations with this imagination of yours. Reality is all about lowering expectations and finding happiness in whatever you get. This is me putting things in better words than they should be, trust me. You can’t have whatever you want! Not even in some dream world. It’s eating up your reality.”
Later that evening, Jiya sees Jill’s point and decides to take a stroll at the nearby beach to clear her head. Jill was right, there was no one around with a familiar feel or face. She just kept her slippers aside and stepped into the water alone. It felt strange to be at the beach just like her dream but no one to accompany her. Her imaginary friend wasn’t there to offer her a jacket when she was cold. She rubbed her hands to warm herself and walked further into the sea. She stopped and stared into the water. The cool breeze was very relaxing. She shut her eyes and tried to be one with her surroundings when she suddenly heard a voice.
“Do you see the waves? Now that’s passion.”
She felt a knot in her stomach. A tinge of childish hope rose in her. She turned around quickly, only to realize it was a boy talking to his girlfriend and they were now engaged in a passionate embrace.
As her tinge of childish hope disappeared for good, Jiya smirked. Jill was right after all. She needed to make more space for reality in her life. She bid a mental goodbye to the beach, picked up her slippers and left for home.
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