That Wretched Smile

Have you ever seen a smile that breaks your heart into a billion pieces? A smile that reminds you, time and again about the loss you suffered?


His was the smile which tormented me day and night, flashing vivid dreams while my eyes soaked in the sun’s rays, and intense turmoil while they saw only darkness.


He sat there beside the window pane, eyes glistening like the glass he was staring across. I stopped by to ask if he needed something, he smiled and said, “Nothing”.


The upward turn of his lips escalated the storm that was already brewing within, fortified by infinity was the guilt slaying me to bleed. His smile reminded me of the life I could have saved, of the choices I should have made, of the assumptions I should have just ignored.


You need love to live, and it was love that I failed to give. The tug of his lips reminded me of the reckless life I had lived while he was shedding tears over the love he lost. Death brings misery but love leads to recovery. Something that was within my prowess but completely beyond my knowledge. After her, I was all he had.


Maybe I was selfish, or maybe I just assumed him to be too strong, but strength fades when love does, and I should have realized that sooner. Loving a person you love is easy and it was that simple thing I failed in, utterly.


And when he smiled one fine morning, my heart fragmented into a billion pieces; for you see, his cheeks did not glow and his eyes lacked mirth. It was just his lips bending at the corners. His smile reminded me the life I could have saved.


~ Paromita Falia | Edited by Afreen Zeb


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