My Utopia

Before she fell asleep, I already had one foot out the door. As I turned back to close it, I saw her, sitting there; she had a sparkle in her eyes. The kind that makes you think twice, the kind that makes you doubt every decision you took, the kind that leaves you in a confused state of mind.


I sit next to her, ask her what’s wrong. She smiles, and giggles. Then she puts one arm around my neck, pulls me closer, and whispers in my ear, “I like you.” I looked at her, again the same sparkle in her eyes, but now they looked different, like someone lit them up like the 4th of July.


She was waiting for my response, I didn’t know what to say, I knew I liked her, but then again I knew it was just a crush. You see, from where I came, the expectations were set very high. Feather like skin, hair like a golden waterfall, bright shimmering hazel colored eyes with perfectly rolled eyelids, the mascara spreading evenly. A couple of strands of hair in front of her head, the rest tucked safely behind her ears, which used to turn wine red the moment they’d hear a compliment. Perfect cherry red lips, contrasting just right with the pearly whites underneath. That was magic. I want that magic.


“Are you okay?” she asked, bringing me back from my utopia, my place of happiness. A chill went down my spine as I looked at her. I can never love another woman like I loved her. It is just not possible. As I tried to hide my tears behind a painful smile, I shrugged and asked her to let go of me.


Closing the door, I remembered how she’d sip her coffee and then use her tongue to get the foam off her lips,


I know exactly what I want. For she is not just a girl, she is The Girl. I walk out of the house and into the madness of the city, stopping people, making them look at her picture, in an attempt to find my…




– Zaid Sohail | Edited by Nandini



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