I See His Regret Today
He regrets parting ways with the woman he once loved, parting from the mother of his child. She gave him a daughter, their prized possession. The little girl saw her world in them. Her mornings began with her clinging to his back after an innocent, “Good Morning” and she slept hugging her mother close, listening to her favourite lullaby, “You are my Sunshine.” She always held them with her tiny hands, one on each side. Things were great. Then finally the day came, when the illusionary happiness vanished. She stood there and watched both of them walk away while she was surrounded by darkness. There she was, drowning in tears, pain, and solitude, failing in every attempt to reconcile them. Her every effort to hold herself together was in vain; futility had become such a companion all this while. So, she grew up with this bitter-sweet taste of life. Neither did he return for his wife and daughter, nor did the distance prick the mother’s heart. Years passed and turned into decades. She learnt to survive with and on memories alone.
The tiny hands that held her parents’ hands now held pressure cookers and plates. Yet, she found her way to learn and read. Though hardships knocked on her door every now and then, she was a proud woman the day she graduated and found herself a fine job. Her own blood had dumped her for reasons unknown, but she still loved them. She was indebted to the kindness of the people around her. She decided to serve her saviours with all she could for they had given her what she had, they had made her what she was. Fate also has its role to play. He happened to stumble across the little girl, who was now, a young woman. He recognised her. She looked just like the woman he had loved once, though she had eyes like his. She still had those rosy cheeks he would pull and kiss. She still had that cute chin he’d lovingly hold. She still had a sweet voice that had once echoed “Mumma Papa, I love you so much.” How he wished to hear it, even today. And lo! The flashback sent shivers down his spine. In this frail and weak state of self, after suffering anxiety of all sorts and restless years of struggle, he regretted his decision of leaving her and her mother. Yet, he dared not to confront her for he feared facing her hatred. He left without meeting her. He was content just on seeing him, even after his blunders.
Now, he sits on his rocking chair where he’d often put her to sleep in his embrace, before the fireplace. It isn’t the fire that is warming him up in this chilly winter. It is his memories of his wife and his daughter that made him regret.
He regrets losing all those years he could have lived with his family. He regrets missing all the little things his daughter did growing up, now that he has seen her grown up so big. He regrets that it was only yesterday that he acted foolish and today, his daughter stood so sensible before him. He regrets all the happiness he could have.
And I’ve seen his regret!
~Joshita Lamba | Edited by Aditi Dhasmana