How Do You Define Addiction?
You may begin, “Well, that’s like having a cigarette and just when I’m about to finish it, I have the urge of taking another one.”
It’s alright. But you are oblivious to the fact that you are not caring to dwell into the depths of your imagination, because you are too busy floating on the superficial being of your own soul.
You see, an addiction is like tasting the igniting flames for the first time, and knowing well the fact that it is going to destroy you, you let it dance on your taste bud, because you feel it tastes good.
It’s the profound trick that comes into play when you think the smoke is too beautiful because it is caressing the passion of your naive touch, despite being aware of the damages that the smoke can cause. It is only the remains of the wreckage you have had already faced.
It is like pushing the pessimism out of your every little inevitable chamber, because you were novice enough to being already fooled into that blind world where you perceive that whatever may happen, it can never kill you.
It’s your only belonging left and you try to latch onto it covetously in a desperate attempt to find comfort, without realizing that it is seeming allayed, because you only have filled it with the things you came to hate about yourself.
It is filled with every person you regret meeting, every hurt that you had endured, everything you wish you never did, or every word you wish you never said.
But maybe, just maybe, it can be the kind of addiction that drags you into loving yourself. Or an addiction that gives you the gut to face your hurts.
Either way, you have taken hold of it so deep down inside you that you miss the slightest possibility of an easy escape.
You have become so habitual of the pain that you had to find something that makes it reappear. Be it a dainty touch, a small gesture, or a gentle gush of fragrance.
You let your addiction take control of your senses because you believe it’s comforting. But what you don’t realize is that this addiction is sweeping along with it, a part of you, into some faded corner of stacked ashes through the wind of reality and chastity. It’s a parasite sucking the life out of you wherein you would feel, it is just sucking poison out of your blood.
Nothing can seem better than your first addiction because you yourself have chosen to be ignorant of the countless flaws it possesses. If that is to be taken from you, you would feel your body, heart and soul hollowed out.
Your first love is by far your best addiction you can ever have or you ever had. And you thought, I was talking about cigarettes all this while.
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