We were friends for quite some time and honestly I hated you for a while too. As I type this today, I wonder what changed, Ravin? Yesterday, you asked me, “What if the spark between us goes away?” The way you asked that question shook me so hard. It seemed like you wanted to back off before anything happened and that scared me; that my dear Ravin, was my moment of epiphany.
I told myself, I am not going to talk to you for twelve hours and let’s see what you feel.
Tell me, how it felt not texting for a few hours? Did you keep switching on your data hoping for a text? Did you keep opening our chat and checking my ‘Last Seen’? Did you have a constant itch in your hand to grab the phone, type a message and hit ‘Send’? Did you actually type a message and then hit ‘Backspace’?
I don’t know if all this happened to you, but it did to me.
See, I know what you mean by losing the spark. It is quite possible. The past twelve hours has given me time to think. I know that we are not a ‘dream’ and this is really happening. You gave me a reality check and I thank you for that. The real world we live in is not all rainbows and roses, I get it. Anything can happen at any time.
Honestly, after all that I’ve been through, I’m scared to put myself out there. I’m scared to take a risk because the last time it ended badly, I nearly died. I am just one percent of who I used to be. I’ve lost a huge chunk of me forever. I used to be so much fun, so full of life and so happy.
Lately, I feel like I’m finding a few missing pieces again. You are actually doing the impossible; you are putting me back together piece by piece. I have no idea about whether it is a good thing. But you’re healing a part of me that no one could touch.
I never imagined it all even in my wildest dreams. The truth is, it is happening again. You know it and so do I. There is no running away from it.
Sometimes in life, you have to take chances. You just have to believe.
And I think I’m ready to take chances.
The question is, are you?
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