Diary of a Monster
In the madness midst the universe, if I don’t succumb to the desires, then I am a human.
Take me to a church or the gallows; whatever pleases your misplaced sense of justice, but I have never found the things I did, unjust. I am not sorry. This isn’t a record of my sins but of the desires that are born within a suffering, helpless man. Most agree to die every second, but I am not one of them.
Yes, I am a murderer. They tell me that I am a sick psychopath, a monster. They tell me that I have no soul and that I should be gutted down to death and buried with the sinners.
Ah, the irony! Oh so beautiful!
Was my mother a monster when they tied her to the mast outside my home and pelted her with stones until she bled to death? Why didn’t the world come saving for her soul? Why? I asked the same goddamn question to every single one of them before I peeled off their faces, burned the living hell out of them and ate them, tissue by tissue. Do you want to know how it tasted? It tasted like justice long overdue to my mother, my beautiful mother.
She wasn’t a witch; she didn’t practice any evil necromancy. The human skull they found inside her closet was not meant to summon evil. It was justice in the utmost naked form, devoid of clothes and devoid of a skin. After my father died in an accident, the police officer came to my house to investigate but instead, threatened my life and raped her, again and again. I saw my mother in tears and misery for the next three months every night, until one day when she poisoned him, severed his head and buried his sullied body.
She wasn’t a witch. She had it in her to demand for justice and get it herself if nobody helped. So do I, for we shared the lust for justice together!
Goodbye, blue sky, I am leaving you today. You saw my mother lose her sanity and her soul and stood deeply involved in your pride.
Goodbye, sanity! Stop standing out in the cold for we’re all marooned, we’re all desperate!
Yes, I am a monster and I believe that God hid within each one of us, a monster whose hunger for justice isn’t beautiful. For there is injustice all around and God wants men like me to take care of it.
I surrender myself to the police today, and to the dark. I want them to know that I am the monster reported for cannibalism in the city.
Someday, somebody had to say enough.
They will put me in a dark dungeon and I will mock them in peace.
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