“It’s been three years since you got married to the love of your life. Nonetheless, I am unable to comprehend the logic behind the fact that you had to leave your house and settle down in someone else’s. That’s so mean and unfair.
Although you’re with him, whom you love; even though I know you are happily married and living contentedly in your new “home”. You left us Di; you had to, yet there’s literally a void now, which people say would be filled when I’d get married. But, I disagree.
How am I supposed to fight for the TV Remote with my wife, the way we did? How am I supposed to pull her hair, and run to hide behind Mom? How am I supposed to fight like my favorite wrestlers with her? Would I be able to tease her after she would finish her ice cream before me? Would she help me in planning a surprise birthday bash for my parents? Would she counsel me for my work, studies and love life? Would she ever say, ‘grow up Aadi, it’s high time’, the way you used to?
The truth is, that I am never going to find your substitute; not even in my life partner.
The idea behind writing this e-mail, is to let you know how much I miss you. How badly I miss our meaningless fights over who’s the favourite kid! (Of course, I am; and you know that, don’t you?) You were the only person who stayed angry for like twenty minutes, every time I irritated you.
Apparently, people find reasons to leave, and you always stuck around, but now you’re quite afar, Di.
There are no answers to a few questions, mine -‘ Why did you have to leave us and go to your home someday?’, being one of them. I am glad that you’re happy with your new life, and also that everyone there loves you. But I know you miss being with us, too. Mom and Dad look at all your pictures, since the first day you entered their lives, and they sob every time they reach for your wedding album. I can’t see them like that.
You have got your own job to do, manage the household too, pretty tough deal, eh? I realize that we can not talk, the way we used to. I totally understand, perhaps, I don’t want to. I miss being silly, I miss being guided, I miss being scolded; and most of all, I miss being your pampered little brother.
Since you don’t live with us anymore, I am expected to behave like a responsible guy. Of course I should, being the one who has to take care of our parents since you have got another set to look after. I’m trying my best to not disappoint or hurt them in any way.
Mom has turned vulnerable since then, and Dad, he pretends being strong in front of her, but deep within, he misses you terribly. Well, let’s just face it, he has always loved you more than me. (And in return, you need to accept that Mom loves me more. No scorning!)
Di, I wish we never grew up. I want you around like the good old days, I wish we could sit and blabber like before. I miss being me, with you.
Only if this inevitable distance hadn’t crept in between us, things would have been so much better… “
He wiped away the tears that had by now accumulated beneath both his eyelashes and saved the content into his Drafts folder, yet again.
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