Death Notes


Today, the earth shook beneath our feet and I remembered a crazy traveller who once told me earthquakes and heartbreaks transpired with tectonic plates moving inside in deformed sync, trying to rub off their hatred onto one another.




With a heavy crumble on the inside and heavier shudders on the outside, I’ve felt walls crack and let out strength that stood against oceans and infinities without a sound.




Lying under the rubble in the aftermath of our destruction, I breathe in heavy clusters of air that is reluctant to push forward to my lungs, half-filled with the silences when we kissed, half-willed with an ache to survive and a little weary from the stillness that now conquers a world we have always dreamt of.


Maitrey, I’ve felt the seconds of consciousness just before death and the only thing I knew I wanted was to shout your name with the verve in my voice that I’d thought would travel the miles and huddle in heaps under your mellow eyes.




Dying isn’t all that bad.


When life left me, I felt the daze you get when on a jet, or on alcohol, or in young love, and though at first I thought I was headed for the stars where I’d spend the years till you die and come to me, but now I know things that the living do not.




Dying isn’t all that bad.


Just the air has no worth, and neither does the sunshine nor the seasons; we float around with our reflections and intangibility beyond designs of need. But we still have memories. I remember the crazy traveller who said how we all had earthquakes inside us, and that maybe the earth too once had a forlorn lover somewhere. And I remember your eyes how they’d falter at words like “always” or “forever” because they were things that only happened to heroes lucky enough to not die valorous deaths in grand wars.




Maitrey, we are much more than we think we are. I still meet the crazy traveller sometimes and he tells me how sanity has never helped him, how earthquakes, like gravity, could transcend intricacies of the universe, and how earthquakes always ever meant heartbreaks.


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